scenarios
I woke up 3am and again just didn't feel quite ready to push the legs. I got as far as dressed in my cold weather gear because of course it is still 24 degrees out, but turned back for another day of rest. Everyday that goes by is one more reason not follow through on this race. So far it's mostly just time I've put in. There's the race fee, but I wouldn't in cure the lodging or other travel costs if I pull out now. The whole point of the race was to have a shot at Boston and that is slipping by each day I'm off my feet. Its wild how I can go 700 miles in 14 weeks and then loose all the confidence in the mater of 10 days. sheesh.
Or
Run the race. See how I do maybe qualify for Chicago then put my feet up for the rest of the year and do some smaller 10k or 1/2 races.
Or
Run the race and then do the last chance Boston race in September 7 (sign up in july)
Winning is fun. Hitting goals is fun. Not running is not fun. Missing the mark is not fun. Perhaps I would enjoy the process more if I already hit the big goal. I mean what am I trying to prove with a Boston Qualifying time? Some sort of ego thing? Show people "not bad for an old guy" or "If I can do hard things you can do hard things" I mean I already did run 3 other marathons. a 3:21:33 is pretty stinking close to what the Boston standard use to be.
One foot in front of the other.
I'll feel it out tomorrow.