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 I woke up 3am and again just didn't feel quite ready to push the legs. I got as far as dressed in my cold weather gear because of course it is still 24 degrees out, but turned back for another day of rest. Everyday that goes by is one more reason not follow through on this race. So far it's mostly just time I've put in. There's the race fee, but I wouldn't in cure the lodging or other travel costs if I pull out now. The whole point of the race was to have a shot at Boston and that is slipping by each day I'm off my feet. Its wild how I can go 700 miles in 14 weeks and then loose all the confidence in the mater of 10 days. sheesh.  Or Run the race. See how I do maybe qualify for Chicago then put my feet up for the rest of the year and do some smaller 10k or 1/2 races.  Or Run the race and then do the last chance Boston race in September 7 (sign up in july) Winning is fun. Hitting goals is fun. Not running is not fun. Missing the mark is not fun. Perhaps I would ...

No Mans Land

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 I've been trying to figure what's next. One leg feels fine then the other acts up. 9mile mod tempo long run over the weekend. Didn't feel terrible, didn't feel good enough to do 10. Shorts and tshirt 27 degrees tomorrow morning again.  Still likely able to heal up by marathon day, but doubtful Im going to get the performance I wanted. There will just be other problems if I quit this cycle and aim for something in the Fall. At least I made it 14 weeks.  Hoped to resume normal schedule today, but out of routine from afternoon runs.  I'll know immediately when I step out of bed at 3am in the morning  if I'm going to do any running tomorrow. Maybe easy effort tomorrow then give marathon pace a try on Thursday? Sort of no man's land at this stage. Being repaired is priority,  but not having the juice seems to be the inevitable tradeoff. I think even if I were to make Boston I wouldn't run it. Training in the winter is awful and it's literally been winter...

End Game

 I tried getting the gears going again this morning, but felt off kilter enough not to bother pushing the limits and just did a half mile around the neighborhood. It's tough to resist the urge to try and run off the discomfort. Better to wait another day...maybe another day... I'd have to look to be certain, but I think that the past 4 days have been the longest bit without running (other than post marathon) over the past year and a half. I'm still waking at 1:30-2:30am so I've needed to manage what to do with those moments. An injured rest is much different than a rest day. A rest day feels great. A injured rest feels anxious as though I should be out there in the dark cold hours of the morning clicking off the miles. I still have some things that need to happen this cycle 1. Fueling: I should have started this sooner, but with waterbottles freezing and hardly being able to feel my fingers, it made it tough. In all likelihood I'll be ok on this front as long as I d...

I could have picked chess

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 I've been off my feet for...well, Friday, Saturday and so far today, Sunday. Two days and it already feels like for ever.  I rode my bike yesterday for 10 miles so at least I had some movement, but being out of rhythm is strange feeling. It is as though everything is happening in slow motion. When I wake up my instinct is to put on my clothes, drink some water, and head outside. As challenging as the program is, it gave some predictability to my life that now is disturbed. Not running for a few days is the right decision, but it doesn't mean it is an easy decision. I know my fitness will stay high, but mentally doubts start to creep in and if I don't hit my target I'll have to wonder if it is because of this moment or if it is something else.  Thankfully, I am on the mend. I can feel the regeneration of my body responding to the rest. There is still a ting of tenderness in my legs, but the need to drag myself all over the place has lifted over the past two days. There ...

Done.

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 This morning was a disaster That is not understatement. I woke up and my legs didnt feel quite right, but after 2 days of rest I figured I'd give things a go. The first mile still felt uncomfortable, but tolerable. mile two things started to shake out in my left, but my right calf got progressively worse. By mile 4 I needed to make a decision to continue in pain or turn for home. I made the conservative (wise?) choice to go home. I tried slowing my pace, but it didn't mater. The pain just kept stinging my leg. Finally at mile 5 I saw a car idling in the church parking lot. At this hour this could only be trouble or the police.  I slowed turned off my head lamp and approached the police. I explained the situation and asked for a lift home. He agreed. And dropped me off at my driveway.  I went to hard and now I'm paying for it. The best consolation I can think of is that this healing is happening now and not a week before the race. There's time for recovery. It's fru...

Can't stretch my way out of this one.

My legs gave out today. They've been giving out slowly over the past week or so, but it reached a tipping point where I recognized if I took one more step I'd be stepping in the wrong direction. The culmination of the miles added up and I couldn't reasonably keep going without doing more damage than good. The weeks and weeks of work would just crumble if I crossed the line today and simply admit my legs couldn't handle the work load.  I've been working on finding my limits this training cycle. I found another limit today.  A spotty marathon practice on Thursday, a 16 mile long run followed by being cramped up in a car for 2.5 hours, followed by Monday's easy but hilly run followed by a 2.5 hour car ride back home just didn't leave enough space for good recovery. I've felt this moment coming, but successfully pushed the thought of pressing pause to the back of my mind in lieu of "just get through this next work out and things will be fine".  Wal...

Country Hills

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 Today marked only the second time in this training cycle that I’ve had to run outside of my usual environment. Spring Break brought me to northern Michigan, where instead of the thaw I was hoping for, I woke up to several inches of fresh snow. The town we stayed in—blanketed in white and cradled by hills—offered up an entirely different kind of running experience. So this morning, I found myself on a dark, hilly, snow-covered road, winding through unfamiliar country terrain. It wasn’t my first choice of running conditions, but without a pace goal in mind for this easy effort run, I didn't mind. In fact, I embraced the adventure. The road ahead was quiet, lined with thick woods and low-hanging branches kissed with snow. The only light came from a distant, glowing red dot—possibly a taillight or a crossing signal—that blinked faintly at the horizon. It was eerily beautiful, a moment suspended in cold, still air. As I ran, I couldn’t help but think how different my training cycle wou...